Do you like tales of Cold War espionage? Taut psychological thrillers? Science fiction as a metaphor for U.S. foreign policy? How about cute angst-filled teenage vampire toyboys? Well, too bad. None of those things are in this book. Instead you’ll join a guy in a Viking suit on an absurdly epic quest to figure out the meaning of life. There will be obstacles, of course: rabid gangs of disgruntled grannies, rival cults of pie-enthusiasts, toasters, anti-matter conversion do-hickeys, Shadow Men, bandits, hippies, annoying celestial bodies, the Department of Internationally Sexy Affairs, and probably way too many dick jokes for this book to ever be considered for any serious academic curriculum. You know, the usual. So what are you waiting for? Light a few candles, pour another glass of wine, and grab the lube. You’re about to LOVE ME.